Top 9 Shitty Things that Filipinos say to Atheists

This month's Top 9 is all too familiar for me, it seems that being a non believer in this country has an incredible downside. People will see you with such disdain that even Hayden Kho would feel sorry for you. Such disdain for a mere position of non belief, I think that Atheists population is the only remaining minority that people are free to mock and attack.

Now before we start I would like to make a minor disclaimer, most of these entries are not indigenous to the Philippines. Non-believers get this all the time all over the world, however these statements are the one's most prevalent in the country.First here are some honorable mentions that almost made the list.

1.) I will pray for you: Yeah its sometimes said in a condescending manner, but I disqualified it because it can be said out of concern. So instead of talking back on how much it doesn't make sense, we should just say "Thank You, now can you do something more?".

2.) Di mo lang kasi gets yung message ni God sa Bible: Get what? The fact that he killed thousands of kids in Egypt and sent his only son (which is also himself) to atone for it? This is just too dumb and including this on the list will just spark a bible debate. Which is something not worth debating about.

3.) Daldal mo!: This is usually said when a theist mocks us and we try to talk back. Whats ironic is that these are the same people who want to encourage discussion yet resort to a hit and run tactic. The reason why I didn't include this is that the number of occasions which line was used is too few. Most believers that we encounter are willing to go out on their own shield.


 Now without further adieu, here are the Top 9 Shitty Things that Filipinos say to Atheists.

9.) Wala kang pinagkaiba sa unggoy!
This is usually said by some fucked up creationist who has probably never seen a decent science program, finished high school, or are just really dumb. These people don't want a debate, they want a quarrel, you have a better chance playing the piano using boxing gloves than to talk sense into these people.

Good argument conservative Christian mom! Now go back to your anti gay marriage activism and finalizing your 3rd divorce!

8.) Siguro #1 fan ka ni Miriam Santiago noh?
This probably stems from the statement that she made a few years back. My typical response is, yeah, so what?! I mean I don't love her because she doubts the existence of God but because she is fucking brilliant.

7.) Tinatamad ka lang mag simba
True, that's because we grew out of the fairy tale. Also lets face it, mass means nothing to non believers and lets admit it most Church goers don't really listen to 40 year old virgins. There is so much you can do in an hour such staying in bed or watching an episode of this.

6.)  Wawa ka naman
Ok I get this a LOT, I remember family members telling me "What a meaningless life you have!". But on the contrary I believe that living a life free from the religious dogma of a vengeful God is more fulfilling, plus you get Sundays off isn't that the greatest thing ever?

5.) Siguro gusto mo sunugin lahat ng simbahan noh!
Nope...... no. Lets call this the "God's not Dead card", this is usually a piss poor attempt of Filipino Christians to portray themselves as the persecuted minority, yeah the 86% minority.

4.) Just have faith!
Faith is equivalent to blind acceptance, to believe without evidence. If you were part of an organization which is based on true magical surreal life story of an individual, but you cannot clarify and authenticate it without being called a sinful bastard, wouldn't that be a scary cult? Your faith in God is the same faith these people have for their leader.

3.) Hoy mahiya ka! Namatay si Cristo para sayo!
I just don't get this line, I really don't. Now before Christian readers tear into the comment section, with their dumb-ass arguments and Chesterton quotes, fucking hear me out first. So God wanted to save the people he created (the same people who he gave "free will"), so he sent his only son, who is also him, to save his people from himself. Is it just me or does it seem that anyone can do a better job than God.

Makes perfect sense

2.) Bastos ka!
Just because of having a different opinion and questioning? Since majority of Filipinos are Theists it seems that being a non believer is already an insult to them, because it destroys their imaginary religious status quo. To the theist readers, if you bash someone for just being inquisitive, you know you're on the wrong side.

1.) Galit ka sa diyos 
If all the puns that Filipino theists tell atheists were compared to a 5 star hotel meal. This line would serve as it's main course, it is the center of attraction, and shitty a one at that. "Why are you so angry at something you don't believe in?" is what my relatives usually tell me. The best reply to that is what I call the Unicorn analogy which goes like this:

 "Do you believe in Unicorns? No. But do you hate Unicorns? I assume no, now what if everyone else believed in Unicorns and were starting wars and doing other fucked up stuff to appease their Unicorn Gods. I'm sure now you would have an issue with Unicorn believing idiots and their practices. "

Tips to Filipinos with Atheist friends/relatives

1.) No Filipino is a believer by default: Sorry but you're imaginary religious status quo is what it is, imaginary. So instead of creating a hostile environment for non believers, respect our opinion, and we will respect yours no matter how fucked up it is.

2.) Read your fucking Bible: I believe there is a reason for everything. There is a reason why i'm an atheist and there is a reason why you're a dimwit. Why not instead of putting up miserable pathetic arguments that can be destroyed by a high school debater, try to understand why we have this position. So read your fucking Bible. (Which means reading more than the book of Psalms aka the quote machine)

3.) Support Secularism: Lets face it religiosity in the country in on a decline. If you want your belief system to survive to the next generation, stop playing the "70 year old kill joy bitter bitch", and make the country a place for everybody both believers and non-believers. Being a kill joy bitter bitch just turns people away, its about time you get it through your head. Being a progressive believer is the best way to do damage control.

We aren't all like this, but if you go out of your way, get ready for a lesson in logic.