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The Top 5 Types of Duterte Supporters

After a long hiatus that has been marred by  shitstorm  after  shitstorm  after  shitstorm , I have decided to write again. It appears that ...

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

The Top 5 Types of Duterte Supporters

After a long hiatus that has been marred by shitstorm after shitstorm after shitstorm, I have decided to write again. It appears that our dear leader has been dominating both local and international headlines. Though his behavior will be for another article, this will be mainly dedicated to his army of dedicated followers. Whose intellect, love for irony and unyielding support has caused not only moments of disbelief but of  intellectual shock. So without further adieu here are the top 5 types of Duterte supporters.


In the year 2050 everyone in this photo will deny ever being in this photo.
HONORABLE MENTION

The Promdi Prayd Diehard

Keywords: Di kami ganun sa insert name of non Manila city/provinceYou guys don't understand promdi humor!


The only reason why this is in the honorable mention section and this list ain't a top 6 is because this group is slowly dying out. Trust me if this list was made before the election this might even take the top spot. The past year myths were not only shattered but castrated, and lets see how this joke would do on a laughter scale:

Duterte: Its ok to rape! Just limit it to three!
Pinoy Promdi Audience: WAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHH
Rest of the World: ummmmmmmmmm..

 If you by any means find Duterte's rape jokes funny then you have absolutely no sense of morality. Its not even South Park/Family Guy level of "its so bad its funny", its just... bad.

The Top 5 Types of Duterte Supporters

Keywords: "I knew he said that but I hope he would not do that so I voted for him but he did that"

If you are upset because you did not expect this and this to happen well you may be beyond help. Your thought process is no different than this:

"Holy shit! I didn't know the Pro Rape Legalization Party that I supported ACTUALLY supported legalizing rape!!!? 

Where are you guys now? Cause I can't hear shit from any of you. To be honest this group reminds me of another group of idiots.

4.) The Federalismo Fans

Keywords:"Imperial Manila!",FEDERALISMO! (Followed by a google search what is federalism?)"


I'm sure all of us at one point had to go to a government office for documents and we were faced with long lines, incompetent government employees and the hassle if dealing with the bureaucracy of needing "4 copies of this, 4 copies of that, clearance with this, clearance with that". Separating powers along with all the adjustments and legal confusing overlaps will just add to all that. Hell, these kids don't even know what Federalism is and its pros and cons.

3.) The "LP = Nickelback" Group

Keywords: Noytard!, YOLANDA FUNDS!, Impeach Leni! Yellow media!,


This is getting old, this is so getting old. The constant topic shift,  I can go on and on on how this is irrelevant since not only are they no longer in power, they are literally, a sinking ship. Remember before the elections when this was a major issue and how a new administration would fix it? Well how has it been? Pedal to the metal?

2.) The "Anti Political Correct" Political Correct Bukoflake

Keywords: bias!, Abias CBN!, No he did not mean that!, He was joking!, bayaran! (the irony eh?)

Yes a bukoflake is a Filipino snowflake #pinoyprayd

Whenever these people annoy you please refer to the following as this is their thought process:

"I love Duterte! He tells it as it is!! Every should just stop being triggered and laugh along god damn it life is short! What? A Rape joke? He did not mean that specifically you have read between the lines, I mean I make jokes too sometimes. Plus it was probably misreported by the biased media that was paid for by the LP, who is just all about image crafting and photo ops, not like THE MAN. Why can't people follow real news"


Do you follow?

1.) The "Hey at least its not me" crowd.

Keywords: OBOSEN!, OMG ganun pala si Du30, I still wouldn't change my vote! because paano na yung bla bla bla?, well dapat di na nagdrugs yung bata


First it was the drug dealer, then it was the drug user, then it was the suspected, then it was the media, then its gonna be you. Know this quote? Yeah its gonna be you one day, and please don't be all Paul Revere and triggered.


Tips to Du30 Supporters 
1.) Get out of your echo chamber: Im sure by now you are sick and tired of drawing imaginary enemies and ranting against the paid propaganda. Why don't you engage people outside your bubble? Take me for example, thats why I am able to come up with this list and tear you a new one cause I learned about your group.

2.) Realize that you are not cool: Given how things are currently going, I wouldn't be surprised if 50 years from now you will tell your grandkids how much of a "yellowtard", you were in 2017 but you don't agree with the current Liberal Party leader.

3.) ITS OK TO ADMIT YOU WERE WRONG: Life is short, its never to late to say uncle and change.