Featured Post

The Top 5 Types of Duterte Supporters

After a long hiatus that has been marred by  shitstorm  after  shitstorm  after  shitstorm , I have decided to write again. It appears that ...

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Top 9 Retarded Things said by Online Marcos Loyalists


If you go on the social media sites you know it, if you talk to a politically opinionated kid who was born in nineties you know it, and if you had a conversation with an elderly person dissatisfied with the current administration but does not know what he/she wants, you have had enough of it. This Pro-Marcos propaganda bullshit is really alarming, whether the hashtags might be #Marcosparin or #BBM2016 you know that shit has really gone down in Philippine society.

To set things straight, i'm no Pnoy defender and Kris Aquino is a piece of shit. These Marcos loyalists have multiplied in number the past years and are really starting to look like various religious/political extremists such as this. These Filipinos come from all walks of life but here are possible traits of an online Marcos Loyalist:

1.) People with a batshit sense of logic

2.) Likes pages such as this and this

3.)  Nineties kids or post Martial Law kids that think they are so smart

Now that I have clarified the terms, without further adieu here are the Top 9 Retarded Things said by Online Marcos Loyalists

9.) Noytard!
This line is usually said by a Marcos defender when confronted by facts, as an act of desperation he/she would then attack you personally by labeling you. This does not only show their lack of knowledge of history, but their lack of knowledge of logic. It doesn't mean that if one hates Marcos he/she would automatically kiss Aquino's a**. This is a perfect example of the  fallacy of false alternative.

8.) Number 1 fan ka ni Kris Aquino!
Same as above, but this ranks a spot higher due to it scoring higher in the retard scale. Tangina paano ba napunta sa usapan si Kris Aquno!?

7.) Mahirap tayo ngayon dahil pinaalis niyo si Marcos!
A perfect example of a causal fallacy, yes we are in the dumps as of today, however it does not necessarily mean that the decline was caused by the ousting of Marcos. History does say that the decline happened DURING this administration.

6.) Ok lang magnanakaw basta may nagawa
When someone says this line my head usually thinks about this analogy, what if your house had a plumbing problem and you called the best plumber in town, he then proceeds to fix your piping issues, however he overcharges you, steals all of your furniture, and bangs your wife. But hey! at least he fixed your piping problem.

5.) They deserved it
This line is usually said by Marcos defenders against the victims of the atrocities of  Martial Law. They say shit such as (non-verbatim) "Your brother was arrested and tortured without a trial? He deserved it since he's a commie!" or "Your sister was arrested, gang raped at home, brought to Crame, gang raped again there, then tortured to death? She deserved it for inciting a revolution!" To all the Marcos defenders out there, if you say insensitive shit similar to this, you've got to realize that you're on the wrong side.

Yeah we love being beat on by the cops! Time of our lives!


4.) He had the most accomplishments than all of the other presidents combined!!!
This is arguable, however it may very well be true in terms of infrastructure. But isn't that expected of someone who had 2 decades of unquestionable power? If another president had the same opportunity as Marcos he/she could have done waaaaaaaayyy more than build a bunch of hospitals and bridges. Also lets take into account the kick backs he and his cronies were able to earn from these projects. So if some Marcos retard gives you this argument, just throw it right back at that dimwit by saying "Well he stole the most money than all the other presidents combined!!!"

Picture? Check! Caption? Check! Must be legit!


3.) Only 2% of the Philippine population was at EDSA
This line is usually said by some kid who thinks that he/she is so smart because he stumbled on bullshit propaganda such as this and this. First of all there is only so much a fucking highway can hold. You can't fit 56 million people in a damn highway, plus lets consider that the Philippines is an archipelago thus it is natural that not everyone can go. Marcos retards would then say that the EDSA revolution was only concealed in Imperial Manila, however facts would say otherwise.

The commies armed with flowers overwhelmed our troops!


2.) Down with the Yellow Media!
Marcos facts? Propaganda! Media representation? Propaganda! Remember how much heat this video got? It seems that Marcos loyalists have the same sense of logic as the most fucked up conspiracy theorists. When there is evidence against their claim, they immediately dismiss it as propaganda, they even see it as evidence to support their claim since there is a "cover up".

1.) Da best si Marcos dahil mas mura pa ang mga bilihin nun
This over here is the mothership of Marcos Loyalist stupidity, this is it's Ferrari, or Lamborghini. This is the pinnacle of Pro-Marcos arguments and the nadir of basic logic. If that is the case what about the presidents that went BEFORE Marcos!? I'm sure mas mura yung bilihin nung panahon ni Aguinaldo, so  Aguinaldo should be the greatest of all time! If Americans followed the same fucked up logic George Washington would be the best since you can actually buy a ranch for $20. Lets look at the facts here, while Marcos was in power the buying power of the peso depreciated exponentially, hell, people already wanted him out midway through his second term. This way of thinking CANNOT live to the next generation so if you have the unfortunate realization that you say this line a lot I would like you to do the following steps:
1.) Pull your pants down
2.) Kiss your balls
3.) Get a knife
4.) (you know what)
5.) Pull your pants up and be proud that you did your country a favor.

Tips to Online Marcos Loyalists
This segment is dedicated to those post martial law kids who think their decomposing idol is the shit. Now pause that  game and/or futile job search (the chances are you have a useless Liberal Arts degree anyway), and read this.   

1.) Research! Dumbass!: Stop labeling things that debunk your claims as propaganda, maybe the media ain't biased on this issue? Maybe you're a just a delusional dimwit who thinks he/she is so smart just because he/she saw a Marcos meme online? Try foreign sources

2.) Read stories about Martial Law Atrocities: Instead of looking at the numbers of Martial Law Atrocities as a mere statistic, lets try to put a face on it. Now can you tell someone who's sister/daughter/friend/girlfriend was gang raped and tortured to death by the PNP that they had it coming?

3.) Try to have a rudimentary understanding of logic and history: First of all it doesn't mean that since we are having difficulties today, it was all better in the 1970's, and secondly were things really better in the 1970's? If Manny Pacquiao beats Mayweather, runs for president then runs the country to the ground, does that mean PNoy was the best eva?



When all else fails then.....
4.) Fine keep posting retarded shit: It makes you look like a dumb dickhole, but hey Bong Bong Marcos just might get elected and you will orgasm. However wait until things go wrong again and like his father before him will steal money, abuse power and get ousted by EDSA 4. Maybe then you will realize "ohhh my fucking God I have been such delusional assf@@@". Just wait 40 years from now then your kids will be posting pro Bong Bong Marcos memes with their Iphone18s.



Author's Note: Credits to TV 5's program WOTL for their spectacular video on Marcos