Top 9 Annoying things said by Butt Hurt UAAP/NCAA Basketball Fans After a Loss

5, 4,3,2,1, BUZZZZ! The game is over and your team lost. You now look at your fellow UAAP/NCAA fans (especially fans of the team that beat you), in a hostile suspicious manner as if they took your wallet. You now go online to rant about how unfair that call was, how the commission is conniving against you, and how there seems to be a conspiracy theory.  IF this is you then congratulations you are a butt hurt college basketball fan, and this article is for you.

Here are the Top 9 Annoying things said by people like YOU.

9.) Tangalin na sa team si insert name of player

Yes he may have lost the game, but everybody makes mistakes. Give the kid a damn break. A good example of this is the online hate that UST player Aljon Mariano received after losing the UAAP finals to DLSU.

8.) Win or Lose its the School we choose!

This is a sweet overused line said by many schools. If its for loyalty sake I get it, if its part of your school hymn I get it, but if you really look into it, it gets annoying. It does not make any sense, so are you saying that some people are willing to change schools just because of a Basketball game?

7.) Eh ano ngayon? Mas mataas naman ranking ng University/college namin

Relevance? This has nothing to do with the game and you are too butt hurt to admit defeat and congratulate the other team, thus you degenerate into this “pataasan ng ihi” quarrel. Please don’t say this anymore, the more you say the more butt hurt you look.

6.) Busy sila sa kakaaral eh

Then that means your players are terrible student athletes because they cannot excel in both academics and athletics. Also are you inferring that athletes from other schools don’t take care of their academics? The last time I checked, UAAP/NCAA schools have grade requirements for their athletes, they may not be Cum Laude standing, but they fulfill their requirements. This line is usually said by Universities with a brainy image (ehem UP). Princeton is one of the most august institutions in the world; their athletes don’t make this dumb excuse, and neither should you.

Basketball? bleh, nagaaral sila eh. Cheerdance? Game the fuck on!!!
Photo Courtesy of UP Diliman's Twitter account

5.) Hintayin niyo ang Cheerdance

Relevance? The Cheerdance competition has nothing to do with the recently concluded game in which you lost. Again another “Pataasan ng Ihi” quarrel.

Nobody saw this coming
Photo Courtesy of  Studio 23

4.) Mayaman kasi kayo eh

Again irrelevant, yes some teams have sponsors with deep pockets (ehem ehem La Salle and Ateneo). But we all know that the score starts 0-0. Shut up and give credit where it’s due.

3.) The UAAP/NCAA commission is out to get us.

Usually said by fans of powerhouse basketball teams (such as La Salle, San Beda, and Ateneo) who are on the losing side of a bad call. Bad calls happen, the players may change, the rules may change, but bad calls will always happen. What’s ironic is that if they benefit from a bad call they shut up and pretend its all fair.

2.) Nagpatalo lang kami kasi naawa kami sainyo

Edi sinong tanga?

1.) Luto

This two syllable word is really an atom bomb of a way to bury one’s reputation. These people question the honor of the officials some even go further to question the integrity of their own players. STOP IT! You are just exacerbating the situation, the last thing your University community needs is a bitter sense of resentment.   

Being a ref in the UAAP is a lose-lose situation
Photo Courtesy of  UAAP Memes

Tips to butt hurt UAAP/NCAA Basketball fans

1.) Do not complain: Yes bad calls happened, and the more you complain the more butt hurt you will look.

2.) Congratulate the winner: I know it hurts deep inside, but you have to move on and give credit where it’s due.

3.) Don’t give up on your team: Giving up on your team is worse than taking it all in the ass; it shows that you’re nothing more than a fair weather fan who just wants to be on the winning side of things. Continue to support your team! A withdrawal of fan support can have an impact on their performance and may result them in losing more games.

Author’s Note: I only placed 9 entries because a Top 10 is so overdone and I didn't want to rip off the retiring David Letterman. Yes this is my piss poor attempt at originality (wait, ohh crap); at least it ain’t as bad as this. And yes the Pedantic Cynic’s Top 9 will be an ongoing series for this blog.

Filipino Elitist Soccer Snobs

It’s the World Cup, an international spectacle that only happens once every four years, the jerseys are out, the hymns are being sung, Facebook profile pictures have turned into flags, and THEY are all over the place. You know what I’m talking about. These so called Filipino hardcore soccer fans (yes I called it soccer do something about it), have popped up all over the internet harassing and debating casual soccer fans about their rudimentary understanding of the sport.

They are usually composed of the economic and intellectual elite (since soccer is only taught in private schools). In social media sites their profile and/or cover photos are either flags or soccer players as if being unbearably annoying isn't enough. They dart in and out of internet threads and forums mocking fellow Filipinos about their lack of knowledge in soccer and how they know so much more. They also cheer for their World Cup team as if the team represents them.  

Yeah people who share memes such as this

These snobs take great insult when you call it “Soccer” since it should only be called Football; because apparently American Football and Rugby don’t exist. They blame Americans for coming up with this dumb term, even though it was the Europeans who came up with the word (click here to find out why). They also get annoyed at the hint of basketball being the king in the Philippines, they would go on litanies on how soccer is more suitable for the height of the Filipino (the only thing that made sense), and how the Azkals have accomplished more than Gilas Pilipinas in international competition, forgetting the fact that Gilas Pilipinas qualified for the World Cup while the Azkals couldn't even make it out of the AFC.

When it comes to their relationship with casual Filipino Soccer fans, these snobs feel somewhat superior since they have been watching the sport for a longer time. Their opinions weigh more simply because they can name every team that won the UEFA league, in an irrelevant and pitiful appeal to authority. It shows that the High School seniority mentality never left them. But does it even matter? Aren't casual fans great for the sport since they help with publicity by spreading awareness on various social media sites? These snobs somehow want to make Soccer an exclusive club, a group in which they feel smart and special, and no you are not invited.

watch your back

Favorite Lines of Filipino Elitist Soccer Snobs

You guys might be thinking that I’m drawing up a straw man but believe me these are real lines from Filipino Elitist Soccer Snobs

1.) Please don’t call it Soccer

2.) Dumb Americans came up with the word Soccer

3.) The PBA does not display homegrown talent unlike the Azkals.

4.) "How long have you been a football fan?" 

5.) You only started watching because of the Azkals, I’ve been watching the Euro leagues for years.

6.) Again please don’t call it soccer

Tips to Filipino Elitist Soccer Snobs

1.) Don’t be a snob! : If you want soccer to gain popularity in your country, creating a “soccer is only for the rich” image of the sport in minds of the Philippine masses is the last thing you want to do.

2.) Be Patient: Yes the Philippines won’t be Soccer country anytime soon. Yes Basketball is still the king and will be for a long time to come. Being a Soccer Snob won’t help. 

3.) Educate: Instead of frowning at your fellow Filipinos who are new at watching the sport for pondering why can’t the players grab the ball and dunk it inside the goal or for not knowing a soccer player other than David Beckham. Educate them about the rules of the beautiful game and tell them the tales of the legendary Pele and Maradona.

4.) Leave Basketball Alone: We can enjoy both Soccer and Basketball, no need to bash the other sport.

Soccer is a beautiful sport that transcends national boundaries, and languages. It has the power to unite or divide the world. Let’s not ostracize the neophytes, instead let’s have fun! Run to the bar, watch the games, get drunk, and scream your effings lungs out.

OLE OLE OLE!